I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the day after is always just damage control
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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