i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
