So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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