when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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