i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
