I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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