What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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