So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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