Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
