some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
