So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize