my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
should my penis look like a turkey
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
