i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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