Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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