Do you still have your period?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
