It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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