I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
