Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I understand Curling. That high.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
