Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize