It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
