you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
