so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The best revenge is premature balding
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize