Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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