apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
