MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
