Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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