I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
