the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
