he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
