Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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