i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
