There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
