Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
