He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
