why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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