Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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