Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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