I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
