Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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