Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
