p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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