The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
