i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
