Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
