Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
