He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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