she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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