I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
