You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
