just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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