Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
