Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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