I understand Curling. That high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
