i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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