You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
