I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
