I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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