I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
