white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
