weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize