I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
