Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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