I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
