I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
