so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
