Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
